Music journalism in Pakistan

Music critic takes a close look at music journalism and relishes the fact how musicians are always unhappy about honest journalism

By: Nadeem Farooq Paracha

Shampoo

It's funny how for more than a decade now I have heard almost all musicians crib and whine about critics. A natural and universal happening this, but the problem is each one of them say exactly the same damn thing (and that too over and over again, no matter what kind of music they are making). Not an iota of originality (or for that matter anything a bit intellectually challenging) taints their whining. And what is even funnier is the defensive ways most of my younger critic contemporaries react these foaming musicians.

One thing you can always, always hear from a disgruntled musician in this country is this: "Critics don't know about the technicalities of music." Really? I wonder how many musicians know about the "technicalities" of music journalism? Or for that matter, journalism? Period. None!

While I too am not such a massive fan of music journalism in this country (I sometimes find it to be a bit too defensive), but over the years I have come to like quite a few young writers in this area ever since people like myself, Farrukh Moriani, Farjad Nabi and M Ali Tim first started to scribble sweet lil' anythings in this regard some fifteen years ago.

And I can personally vouch for each one of them by suggesting that they know enough about the music they are writing about than a musician would know about journalism.

People like MAQ, QAM, Saba and Huma Imtiaz and Insiya Syeed (spelling: Insiya Syed) come to mind and I think they are all fair game and pretty competent. I've silently seen each one of them grow into terrific writers and break away from that shy, defensive streak a Pakistani (or perhaps any?) music critic is usually struck with when he or she starts his or her career and/or sidekick profession, as a music journalist.

In other words, today they are standing out in this field simply because they did not allow themselves to turn into groupies or over-enthusiastic spokespersons of pop acts of their liking.

Because there are still a lot of so-called music critics out there who sound more like groupies than critics, and I have also seen many extremely talented and bold critics suddenly turn into mush and vanish. Well, that's beside the point. Because the point is, again, that right before a musician utters that typically, cliched and redundant line suggesting that critics only have a half-baked knowledge about music, they should now prepare to first answer this question: How much do you know about music journalism?

And don't even dare trying answering this. Because I know you'll sound out of it. And the next time I hear you say this I'll request Fasi Zaka to sit on you! And he relishes doing that in more ways than one.

Gorayaan noon paraan kero ...

Recently while corresponding with former Bandbaja editor, Omar Tariq, he told me how sad he was when he noticed the way Junoon have put all these foreign reviews of the band on their website. I'm not surprised. Because Salman Ahmed has always been quite like that typical posh-class right-wing Pakistani who (like, say, Imran Khan), when in Pakistan will sound so chauvinisticly patriotic, but they are really the main sufferers of that more-gora-than-the-gora complex! This is exactly why their actions usually end up making them seem and sound so contradictory and confused all the time.

And this leads me to the way Aamir Zaki and Mekaal Hassan go on and on about so and so western music journalists. The truth is those music journalists that these fine gentlemen are always mouthing about are there only as expert writers for expert magazines. So much so they could have (and perhaps already are), salesmen for expensive musical and recording instruments. The bottom line being they are not music journalists, you dimwits!

For a crash course in music journalism and/or cultural journalism, go Google the names Lester Bangs and Hunter S. Thomson. But I'm sure you don't know who they are. But hey, I know who Pat Methany or Jaco Pastorius are.

All that Jazz (zzzzzzzz...)

I've always been a great admirer of Aamir Zaki ever since he was a prodigious and moody teen in the '80s. And I also find Mekaal Hassan to be greatly talented as well. His debut album was quite wonderful, really. But the moment both of these open their mouths and start talking about jazz it is only then I can't help myself wanting to shove one of those Louis Armstrong's big bad saxophones down their throats!

I'm pretty sick of these two airing their high and mightiness by saying how deeply involved they are in jazz and jazz-fusion. What they most probably do not realize is that this jazz line has actually become a predictable spiel, which is heavily parodied by those mocking such artistic pretensions. And anyway, how come this jazz influence always fails to clearly come out in an interesting and dynamic manner the way it did in the progressive-rock of say, Yes, King Crimson or Frank Zappa? I mean talking about incorporating high ideals in this respect, there used to be more Floyd coming out in Vital Signs' otherwise pretty harmless pop than I see Methany or any other godforsaken jazz chap coming out in either Zaki's or Mekaal's music. Zaki's debut sounded no more than glossy lounge music and Mekaal's music can be slotted and pegged right alongside all that New Age stuff doing the rounds out there. Where is the excitement, the depth and the passion? Where's that edge that's more about the mind and the heart than about that special chord or knob?

Mani Quami Movement

Faisal Qureshi did Mani a favour by using him in his skit show, Ulta Seeda, giving him some much wanted credibility and sort of saving him from becoming a bone sandwiched between idiotic, jaali Amreekan VJ's and the equally idiotic sarak-chaap no-brainers. But unfortunately, I wonder why this guy is always trying to put forward his "street credibility," the sort that was first made famous among the non-Amreekan entertainers by Umar Sharif some twenty years ago! However, twenty years later it sounds as irritating and as jaali as any FM89 tongue twister.

Whatever happened to that middle ground, I wonder?

Ring worms

The news is Strings have got into a mega sponsorship deal with a local mobile phone service. First of all after their stints with Pepsi and others, it seems Strings are a couple of musicians who are always hanging out along with cheap T-shirts and vests at Zainab Market, always waiting to be picked up by a sponsor. These guys spend more time signing sponsorship contracts than they do playing music. So don't be surprised if the next Strings album is no better than a bunch of soothing ring tones. Such a shame. I thought Junoon, Jawad Ahmed, Abrar-ul-Haq and the Vital Signs were the worst examples of gluttonous corporate cynicism, but Strings take the cake. In this millenium, they are always on sale.

First published: Instep, News on Sunday, Sunday 04 September 2005, The News International, Jang Group of Newspapers, Karachi, Pakistan.